going crazy

I don't know why - I have never been a jealous person - and its never realy mattered - but latley I feel like everything makes em upset and I am extremely protective of Frank - I don't say anything to him cuz I don't want to be the crazy girl - and i know he won't cheat on me and that he loves me - but i can't help but feel protective over him - i thinks its more of me affraid to loose him
I think its more that I have let him in more than I have ever let anybody else in - he knows me more than my family does - he can read me like a book - and I think that power he has over me scares me to death - he knows just what to say to make me feel better - he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. never before have I ever felt so loved and so safe

venting

So - i just can't seem to get over something that irritated me last night. When Frank and I were getting home from the grocery store, walking into our new apt another girl walked by - soem blonde girl who i think jsut finished working out. And of course frank was checking her out, thats not what bothered me, guys will do that wether you catch them or not so its not worth it to me to get upset at that, but then he kept staring to the point where he wasn't watching the door when he was trying to unlock it,a dn when he started talking to me he looked right past me and kept watching her walk away.

We talked about it, and he didn't he try and deny it or excuse it he apologized. which is good and I told him it hurt my feelings cuz it makes me feel that he doesn't care enough to look at me when he is talking to me, that some other girl was more important than me. GGRRRR - i know he didn't mean to, or mean to get caught (same thing), but it still makes me mad

You say you hate blondes -You say you don't like skinny girls - When we go out you tell me not to dress up to much - that you don't like it when girls wear to much make-up or perfume or spend to much time getting ready but it seems like when we are out they catch your attention more than I do. There are times when I want to dress up an be girly and you tell me there is no need b/c you love me when I'm in baggy clsoe and my hair thrown up with no makeup but sometimes that doesn't seem like enough

Whatever - I know he loves me, and I know he finds me attractive and that he would never cheat on me - but its still like what he hell do you want? they say girls are hard to read adn confusing - but geesh. I just need to get that off me chest