one year later

So this thursday will be one year since I graduated college - and oh what a year its been. Ive had my up and downs. . .

Biggest Down: still working at Target - i dont hate it every day now, just 9 out of 10 days - i think its more that I hate my position- I actually am fond of target but Hardlines blows and I completely suck at it!!!

Biggest Up: IM ENGAGED!!! it finally happened and I am so excited - I cant wait to marry Frank :) - if we can ever save up enough money to get there ;(

Lots on my mind - mostly all linking too how I am nowhere even close to where I want to be in my life or where I thought I would be. I am still living in my fiances mom's house, working at a job I hate. Dont get me wrong I love my fiance's family - but I want my own place OUR own place! I am 24 years old working a "real job", college graduate and now engaged and we are still living with his mommy. Me no likey. This new year coming up will probably bring a lot of change in my life - hopefully all for the better :)

First thing is first - I am moving out. . . with or with out Frank - I cant do it anymore, there are too many people in this house and lets face it - its not my family, I always feel like Im in the way or I am the odd man out here.

Once there is a new permanent place of residence - we will beging some serious soul searching on where to go with my career and what moves to make - we shall see

Its funny how much time you spend planning - and yet nothing turns out as planned - each day I am trying to tell myself to "just breath" - not to fret over the small things or get so worked up on what the future holds- that is how I am making it through the day right now

-lets see if I can keep this up this time (maybe that will be my new years resolution )

long time - no talkie

so i completley forgot about this site

so much has happened . . . graduated college, moved back to austin, now living with franks mom and working as a retail manager for Target.

Other than having Frank - my life pretty much blows right now. I HATE my job with a passion but dont know what else to do or where to go. At least I have a job and the money is pretty good. But I still hate feeling so depressed all the time.

I want to get my own place (at least one for me and frank) so I can stop mooching off his Mom (though she enjoys us being here) but I cant afford it and frank doesn't have a job so I would be paying all the bills - no bueno :(

Anyways - I feel like I am drifting away from my family and tha sucks even more - I just feel . . . LOST! Like I have no one to turn too

Yesterday was a bad day - had a dream that my father (dean) died and woke up in tears - sent him an email and listened to Garth Brooks all day - but it was a good day for me and frank :)

No bickering, spent the whole day together and last night he was soooo hyper -he was giggling like a little girl - but it made me so happy to know that I can make him laugh like that, and its moments like that make me realize he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with !!

Been feeling a little "off" latley - wondering if it may be soemthing - should find out today or tomorrow if it is what i think it could be. . . hhmmmm - dont know how to feel about it - but I guess I should wait and see before I get ahead of myself!

Anways- gotta jet

TTFN