spinning out of control

So my counselor last week expressed concerns about me going home. she was afraid that since so much of my pent up stress and depression ultimatley leads back to home that it was a bad idea - but i figured what the hell, its mother's day weekend, what could possible go wrong? -right?

WRONG!! Note to self - listen to your counselor! I find irony in the fact that the first time I express concern that my Mom will lapse outloud to someone else - that weekend my Mom goes and buys a bottle of wine. Now she didn't drink (Dad smashed it) but its still like WOAH! this could happen. I am still crying almost everyday since my first counselor appt. But i guess let me tell you about my weekend:

Thursday Itook my last final, worked till 5 then had to convinvce frank to stick to the plan to go home thursday- that night started crying on the way home (don't really know why) but i think its because i feel like Frank and I are growing apart. I am so afraid to loose him. So i get home and stay up till almost 2 in the morning talking - my mom and i talked about a bunch of things. I found out my sister left her boyfriend of two and half years and it got me thinking about frank. We talked about me and frank, and me putting my oxygen mask on. We also talked about soem of the things my counselor and I talked abotu with out me even bringing it up - and I think my mom said soem things that I needed to hear from her.

Then Friday my dad got home! YAY i miss him so much! Everything was fun. Got a little frustrated with Frank over the weekend because every time i tried to talk to him he would rush me off the phone in less than 5 minutes.

Saturday afternoon was fun - went to the mall with the family, then to dinenr at abuelo's. Thats when the weekend began to sucK! my Mom got all pissed off at my dad for some unknown reason and it turned into a huge ass fight. Jamie and I headed to the park to get out of the house - cometo find out my mom went to the store and bought a bottle of wine. That of course led to more arguing. Jamie and I got upstairs and talked. She confided in me soem stuff and we girl talked and played games and had fun!

So sunday- mother's day - first we are goign to FBG, then we are not going to FBG, then we are going the FBG, then we are not going to FBG and finally after many different arguments amongst the parents - we went to FBG. Hung out with the Grandparents and my Mimi. My Mom ended up taking too much medication and was drugged beyond comprehension. The ride home was quiet - talked to my Dad alittle, my mom passed out. Got home and things were better, the rents were talking, we watched August Rush and went to bed.

Monday - I made a big mess of things. I don't want to go into detail, but I stirred up the chaos and I feel bad about it, I know its not MY FAULT but i feel responsible for the wreck it created.

So we got back tuesday morning at 2 am - didn't get to sleep until around 3 and woke up at 8 for a counselors apt at 9. She and I talked about the weekend, my real dad, me and franks relationship. Then I went to the office to see when iwork thsi week. I went home to change and eat and talked to frank about some issues I am having with our relationship - i feel like he listened but he wants to aviod it all together. I know he loves me, but enough to get his act together? we'll see!